| | Time Pass?future? [Preview] | |
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Sup? Veteran Fantagian

Posts: 2077 Join date: 2011-07-15 Age: 11 Location: Y yu wanna know lawyer??
 | Subject: Time Pass?future? [Preview] Fri Feb 03, 2012 12:26 am | |
| Hiya! I'm making a science fiction story! Hope you will enjoy it. | Here is a preview: | | | "Do you think it will work?"Danny asked "I don't know lets try!" Alex said,Danny pressed the button to let it work,"I think it will not wor-" Alex said then he got interrupted by the machine."Its working its working! we are going to future! we will know the future!!" Danny Said Happily" |
Do you think its nice for a preview? |
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Sup? Veteran Fantagian

Posts: 2077 Join date: 2011-07-15 Age: 11 Location: Y yu wanna know lawyer??
 | Subject: Re: Time Pass?future? [Preview] Fri Feb 03, 2012 5:43 am | |
| Sorry for double post,but is it nice? |
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Silmaril Veteran Fantagian

Posts: 1716 Join date: 2011-10-28 Age: 15 Location: Farewell, my friends!
 | Subject: Re: Time Pass?future? [Preview] Fri Feb 03, 2012 5:50 am | |
| How does your time machine work? What kind of technology are they using and why? I would definitely like to read more of this! |
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Sup? Veteran Fantagian

Posts: 2077 Join date: 2011-07-15 Age: 11 Location: Y yu wanna know lawyer??
 | Subject: Re: Time Pass?future? [Preview] Fri Feb 03, 2012 6:35 am | |
| Danny And Alex are soo obsessed in science and technology.so there was a science fair they joined it,one of them said to make a time machine it took 1 month and 2 days for them to make it............ you will know more later  Preview of chapter 1: One Day morning,in a summer breeze were the sun makes you warm,there are two brothers who loves science. At Lumberbig school,Were these two brothers Danny and Alex,There was news on the news board"Science Fair Contest,Come and join there are prizes! just write your name here,Last day to join is 4 march.The day we will take your projects due April 15." that what written on the board"Lets join!"Alex said to his brother"Ok" He replied. They both wrote there names,some popular dudes came "Looks like nerds joined the fair haha,you will never win" Camron said smikiring "Who said?are you jealous?im pretty sure your a dumb dude haha"Danny replied to Camron.The dudes went,"Good one Danny"Alex said "High five".They went to the science class |
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Rue Loyal Fantagian

Posts: 1055 Join date: 2012-01-14 Age: 13 Location: Up a tree
 | Subject: Re: Time Pass?future? [Preview] Fri Feb 03, 2012 8:35 am | |
| Lumberbig? Lol! Good story preview! |
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Sup? Veteran Fantagian

Posts: 2077 Join date: 2011-07-15 Age: 11 Location: Y yu wanna know lawyer??
 | Subject: Re: Time Pass?future? [Preview] Fri Feb 03, 2012 10:13 am | |
| haha i know weird xD Thanks,the chapters will come very late sorry!because im punished i could only use on thurs and fri sorry! |
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Relora Veteran Fantagian

Posts: 4774 Join date: 2010-11-30 Age: 14 Location: Define "Location"
 | Subject: Re: Time Pass?future? [Preview] Fri Feb 03, 2012 1:11 pm | |
| I see a few mistakes here and there, but I think what you have inside your head will be entertaining to read ^^ |
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S Dedicated Fantagian

Posts: 965 Join date: 2010-02-06 Age: 7 Location: The kitchen
 | Subject: Re: Time Pass?future? [Preview] Fri Feb 03, 2012 4:50 pm | |
| I can't say a whole lot since you haven't written much, but spaces after commas and periods please. No not please, I command you to.
_________________ Once there was a signature here? I wonder... |
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Takuto Veteran Fantagian

Posts: 2180 Join date: 2011-09-09 Age: 12 Location: Equestria
 | Subject: Re: Time Pass?future? [Preview] Sat Feb 04, 2012 12:53 pm | |
| Good story I like it so far c: |
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| | Time Pass?future? [Preview] | |
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